Healing Hands - Professional Reiki treatments & training in the county of Essex.
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Over protective horsie mum - When to let go of your children?

Am I just over protective or completely nuts?
 
 
As many of my students will know, I have two daughters aged three and four, and just like mummy, they are totally smitten with horses. Apollo - my ever devoted arab of twenty three years- is ever obliging to their tedious fussing. But as he is 14.3hh and my girls are knee high to a grass hopper, I tend to have the occasional panic attack when hooves and tiny feet are mixed up in, what looks like a native trible dance whilst grooming.
 
As the years have progressed I have tried to involve my girls in the day to day stable duties as much as possible. From watching my little angels with clenched teeth, as they destroy my stritegically placed and leveled woodchip bedding, to squinting through fingers and gasping in horror as they pick up a hoof between them and start picking it out, because they've seen mummy doing it!
Up until now I have skillfully avoided any accidents. I have done this -acording to family opinion - by being an over proctective mum.
 
However, my girls now want to start riding lessons. On a pony more suited to their size. In fact it is all I hear about on the way to nursery. Each morning we pass the local riding school ponies grazing happily in their paddocks, and so I brace myself for the onslaught of 'why can't we' questions from the back seat of the car.
 
I used to tell myself that I would never be one of those mums that would hover over every move their children made. I was adament that I was going to let my children learn the hard way like I had when I began my life with horses, brushing them off and pushing them back on again. In truth however, I have been the absolute oposite. I am exactly that mum I swore I would never turn into. I am the mum who hovers over her daughter as she stands too close to a horses rear end. I watch myself taking over simple duties that I know my four year old is completely capable of- like filling up a water bucket! Just because I can. I hear a horse being walked onto the yard and it turns into a scene out of mission impossible, "where are the girls? Must get to the girls!" My nerves can't take it. I just can't seem to let go. Am I the only one that,try as they might, won't let their child take a little risk? But how much risk taking is too much?
 
My youngest daughter has just turned three. She has, like her sister, aquired her first grooming kit and all the trimmings for helping mummy at the stables. Whilst she has always been at the yard, only now is she begining to get really involved. She sits on my horse's back whilst I groom -with my spare hand teetering over her leg, ready to grab it at the slightest flinch from Mr Apollo. They have both walked around the sand school on Teddie - our family pony aged twenty seven. Bouncing around with shear joy spread across their chubby little cheeks, grinning from ear to ear. They absolutley love it, but I am just not sure that I am ready to let the girls start riding properly. Yes you are absolutley right, I am a control freak! And I am sure that if you are reading this and you are one of those people that I used to be: childless and an advocate for, 'brush em off and push em back on again,' then you will most defiantely be either, laughing aloud, or thinking quietly that I'm nuts. I would too if I were still in that same position. But if you are a mother or a father of young children like I find myself now, then I am sure you will share a little, if not a lot of my turmoil. - I really hope for my own sanity that it is the latter!
 
In all seriousness, when is it the right time to let children start learning to ride? In my own personal riding experience I was around six when I was plonked atop an ageing, overworked school pony, and I can vividly remeber the feeling of pure extasy at the experience. One which will never leave my memory, and for which I will be forever grateful to my parents for as it has shaped the person I am today. If I was dealing with someone elses child, I would happily push them forward in their learning. In actual fact, I find myself pushing my niece of the same age as my eldest, to do things that I would cringe at letting my own daughter do. She is turning into a real little protege. So why will I not do the same with my own girls?
 
I have a fear that seems to be ingrained in my being that I must protect my girls from any negative experience with horses. Which is totally absurd of course, if they never had a bad experience they would never learn the lessons of life. But try as I might I just can't bring myself to allow them the freedom to do just that, experience life with horses. Well a lesson is planned for next weekend, I just hope that I'll be able to let go of the reins when the riding school assistant tries to lead my girls away, probably a young girl herself. I feel sorry for her already. At least she'll have a hugely funny story to tell to her stable girl mates during lunch, of how, a crazed, over protective, maniac of a mother wrestled her to the ground, running, breathless into the centre of the menage in a fit of panic because she mistakingly took the manovere, 'touch your toes' as a sign that her three year old was about to take a tumble and hit the ground head first. I will remember writing this article after I've peeled the unsuspecting stable girl from the gritty sand, whilst every face in the entire yard stares at me through complete shock, horror!
 
Yes that will be my weekend, spent in complete anxiety and panic. Much like every day really - thank heavens for reiki, If not for that, I would propbably be smuggling an industrial sized pot of Kalms around my person practically forever!
 
With Love and Light and Reiki Blessings to all
 
Claire x
 
Healing Hands
 

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